Trick your kids into thinking they're ready to go back to school with these handy tips ...
No kid ever admits to wanting to go back to school but there are subliminal signs you can spot that indicate they're getting a teensy bit keen... or you are ...
And that's where your rat-cunning mothering instincts come into play. As the holidays draw to a close, it's essential you use all the tricks in the book to ensure they're keen as mustard for term three.
Here are my top 11 tips for tricking my kids into thinking they're ready to go back to school ...
1. The "Muuuuuum, I'm boooooored" whining is reaching world-record status
Sure, it's a little like fingernails on the blackboard, there's also something magical about that whining phrase because it means home is losing the Shangri-La of Fun aura it had at the start of the holidays.
Soon they'll be surrounded by dozens of friends in the playground and their teacher will be keeping them occupied between 9am and 3pm, bless them!
But, in the meantime, next time they tell you they're bored, start asking subtle questions about school friends they might be missing or what excursions are coming up next term ...
2. They crane their head out the car as you drive past their school and look a little wistful
Ah, nostalgia is a powerful feeling!
Any kid who's trailed around after Mum on a day of shopping is bound to look a little forlorn as they drive home past their empty schoolyard. All those boring maths lessons are forgotten, only the fun lunchtime play memories remain.
It's important to enhance those feelings of nostalgia by inventing reasons to traverse the streets surrounding the school.
Catching sight of the playground will remind little Tommy how much fun it was playing tip in the quadrangle with his best friend Billy or scouring the bitumen outside the canteen for dropped coins to buy a 20-cent jelly stick.
3. They start playing "cool maths games" on the computer instead of Minecraft
I know it sounds fanciful, but every kid eventually reaches their Minecraft limit where they can't possibly add another square sheep to their flock.
There's also a point where you start to feel a bit guilty about how many computer games you've let them play over the school holidays.
And that's where Cool Math Games comes into it's own.
For the kids it has that fun-times-in-the-classroom feel to it, for mums it's a little guilt-free "educational" computer time.
To be extra manipulative, you could institute a 24-hour ban on Minecraft but eventually "relent" and let them play Cool Math Games.
4. They start pestering you for a lunch order
Is there anything more enticing about returning to school than writing your name and class on one of those brown paper bags and poring over the canteen menu?
If the kids haven't started pestering, maybe now is the time to plant the idea in their heads. Think of it as a school holiday activity that combines computer skills with mathematic and spelling prowess. Hand each child a brown paper bag, give them a budget, tell them to Google the canteen menu, write their lunch order on the bag and add up how much it will cost.
Cue mouth-watering and a Pavlovian desire to eat a meat pie.
Yes, yes, I know meat pies are a 'sometimes' food, but desperate times call for...
5. They moan they're missing playing handball with their friends at lunchtime
What is it about handball that's so compelling when you're a kid? Hitting that ball backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards across a line on the ground isn't my idea of a fun, but it's a total obsession with my daughter.
A cheap but effective way to put a sparkle in your child's eye is to get them a new handball ... and tell them to put it in their backpack for their first day back at school. I mean, otherwise it might get mussed up, and it's soooo much better for it to be all shiny and perfect for that first game in the quadrangle.
Casually mention the ball every few days and get them to check their backpack to make sure it's still there, all safe and sound.
6. You find them packing their school supplies into their backpacks
Cool rubbers and funky pencils are a cheap and plentiful at your local $2 shop, supermarket or variety store. Stock up, mama.
Then use them as a rewards for good behaviour during the holidays. Each time you hand them an item, tell them to put it in their school pencil case so it's ready for school.
Kids love admiring their booty ... chances are you'll find them arranging all their booty. Cue the longing to use it on day one.
7. They ask if you can drop them at school early on their first day back
This one requires collusion. Call their best friend's mum for a quiet chat. Later, drop into conversation that said best friend is going to school at 8.35am on the dot (or whenever playground supervision begins at your local school) on day one of school, so they can show off their holiday braids/play handball/hand out party invitations.
I think you can guess what will happen next.
An important part of fostering this strategy is to initially suggest you're not sure you can manage an early drop off. Then let the begging and tension build.
8. Sibling bickering has reached fever pitch
Spending all school holidays with a sibling can have its ups and downs. By the end of two weeks, the downs usually start to outweigh the ups and all parties are looking forward to spending time with their peers.
Returning to the school yard means getting some distance from their annoying brother or sister. Enhance the longing by rationing playdates as the school holidays draw to a close in favour of "family time."
Ask casual questions about their favourite things to do with their best friends and suggest an after-school afternoon tea during the first week back, discuss what type of cupcakes or cookies should be served...
9. You catch them playing imaginary "school" in the playroom
Erm, maybe this was just me as a kid? Possibly it's just an older sibling bossiness thing, but I loved being the teacher during school holiday imaginary games and holding "classes" for my younger sister.
To this day, I take credit for her academic success, I put it down to all that advanced training I gave her. Anyways, perhaps suggest playing teacher to your eldest child the next time they wail they're bored. It will appeal to their first-born instincts, while the younger siblings will want to play along to please their older sister/brother.
And it might just give them an appreciation of how great their actual teacher is.
10. It's like they've seen a rock star when they spot their teacher in a cafe
Speaking of how cool their actual teacher is ... have you noticed how starstruck kids get when they see Mrs Smith outside of the school yard?
My daughter's teacher has coffee at a certain cafe on Monday mornings (stalker, moi?). I walk the dog past with the youngest and we wave excitedly through the window to her.
The adoration on my daughter's face ... priceless.
11. YOU'RE ready for them to go back to school!
Finally, the most important of all the signs. It's the reason you're employing all the cunning techniques above.
Much as we love those carefree weeks with our kids, there comes a moment when the desire for routine returns.
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